Mamas' Group Offers Care, Camaraderie

By Andrea Appleton
POSTED APRIL 1, 2008

Last month, more than 100 Lower Manhattan moms tucked in the kids, turned out the lights and went out for cocktails. The occasion was the annual winter feast of the Hudson River Park Mothers’ Group, affectionately known as HRP Mamas. They gathered at Grace, a bar and restaurant on Franklin Street, for hors d’oeuvres, empathy and shop talk.

While new moms commiserated over sleep deprivation and feeding problems, the “veterans” traded advice about potty training and schools. But what they all shared was praise for the growing organization that had brought them together.

“It’s like having hundreds of friends without knowing them,” said Marie Gautier, mother of a 4-month-old who recently moved to New York from France. “You feel not alone.”

Tribeca resident Anna Grossman started the group in 2004, after having her first child. “It never occurred to me that I would feel so alone and emotionally vulnerable,” she said. “I needed to meet people who were my peers.” So she began to hold playgroups with a few other new mothers.

Word spread, and Grossman now directs a nonprofit with roughly 700 members. Volunteers host dozens of weekly playgroups for different ages. There’s one for Spanish-speaking nannies and another for single mothers and another for parents of children with special needs. There are child-free events such as margarita nights, book clubs and knitting groups.

But the online message board is where they really flock. They post an average of 800 messages a month, with offers of free child gear and lots of questions and advice, such as “Help! My son pulls his hair out at night,” “Music CDs for toddlers that don’t suck?” and “Tattling.”

Still, for face-to-face contact, the playgroups are the place. On a recent rainy Wednesday, eight new mothers sat in a circle on the carpet in Kristin Knox’s living room on Laight Street.

As the babies—all 6 months or younger—wiggled on their bellies or nestled in their mothers’ arms, the talk moved from how to travel with an infant to when to introduce solid foods.

“When do they start playing with things?” asked Julie O’Donnell, gazing forlornly at her 7-week-old son, Aidan, the youngest of the group. “He still won’t do anything.”

“Oh, not for a while,” another mother answered.“They just love shadows at that age.”

Knox paced the apartment trying to calm her wailing baby. One especially poignant cry brought a sympathetic “Oooh!” from every woman in the room.

Later that afternoon, at Mona Shah’s twins playgroup, the camaraderie was profound.“ We feel like we have a special bond here,” said Wendy Stanley, mother of 13-month-old Quinn and Kate.

“Right,” said Shah, as her 6-month-old sons Dylan and Rikhav lolled calmly in her arms. “If they’re crying at the same time, which one do you pick up? How do you get them to sleep through the night?”

For these mothers, as with all the others, HRP Mamas is more than a source of advice. Seifali Patel-Shah, mother of 10-month-old Arshaan and Aryan, explained what the group means to her.

“My husband has said a number of times, ‘What if we moved uptown?’” But I’m from a small town. I like being in a big city, but I like that family feel.”

For information on Hudson River Park Mamas, go to hrpmamas.com.

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